I am - You Are

I'd like to share a thought from my journal that contrasts what I am feeling or experiencing some of the time with what Jesus is All of the Time.

Yesterday, I spent most of my birthday alone and resting because I had a low grade fever and cold. On an ordinary day I would just ignore those symptoms and expect to heal on the go. But the chemo had caused my white blood cell counts to drop from 8.7 to 1.7 and I knew my body’s ability to fight infection was greatly compromised. During the day I wept as I realized that what I was experiencing after my first chemo treatment was going to be repeated for several months.

I am — You Are
By Fink Holloway
September 22, 2007

I don’t want to be so medicated.
I don’t want to be so nauseated.
I don’t want to be so constipated.
I don’t want to be so isolated.
I don’t want to feel so frustrated.

But sometimes

I am.

But God, when I consider who you are
Not just who you are today, but every day,
I know I can still trust you.

You are my Savior.
You are my king.
You put a song in my heart
That I still want to sing.

You are the reason I can persevere with pure joy.
You give me a hope that nothing I face in this life could ever destroy.
You are my life jacket.
You are my peace.
You are the reason I can relax and find sweet release.

You know how to heal
You know when I call.
You know how many hairs are still on my head.
You know when they will all fall.

God, when I consider who
YOU ARE
Not just who you are today, but every day
I know I can still trust you.
And I do!