Enjoying Good Health and Family

It has been quite awhile since I added to my blog, which might cause my long distance friends to wonder if I was too weak to write. But the truth is: I have been too busy to write. I am so grateful--my health has continued to improve!

My doctor allowed me to switch from femara to tamoxifen. Both drugs are taken by mouth daily to prevent the recurrence of estrogen driven cancers. My bones and joints began to ache after taking femara for a year. It even hurt to shake hands at church. Now that I have been on tamoxifen for a few months, the pain has subsided. I still do not have as much strength or endurance as I had before cancer, but I can see a definite improvement, and I thank the Lord!

Here are some of the things that have kept me busy: When our son and his family came to visit from South Carolina, my mom and sister and brother and a couple neices came too! They wanted to meet our new grandchildren--Trail & Aliyah and see how much Broolynn and Josiah had grown. We spend as much time as we can enjoying our grandchildren.

AND Sharon and I have been busy this summer is discussing wedding plans! She is getting married to Kyle Blair on December 20, 2009. We have gone to Little Rock a couple times to help Kyle move and to fix up the home where they will be living while Kyle goes to medical school at UAMS. He has already moved to Little Rock, but Sharon is back in Oklahoma and she plans to complete her master’s degree in piano pedagogy December 18. This is going to be a busy semester!

I thank all of you for your prayers. Some of the friends who were in cancer treatment with me have died. Others have heard the news: “The cancer is back,” and they are on chemo again. Cancer tends to make a person consider life and death and all the days in between. Sometimes I feel a type of survivor’s guilt as I consider their struggles and pain. If health were like an apple, then I could cut mine in half and share it with those who desperately need strength. But even though I may want to--I don’t have the power to extend a person’s time on earth; that is God’s department. My first response to illness is to pray for healing, but the same Bible that teaches about God’s power to heal the human body, teaches that there is a time to die.

Sometimes death comes suddenly, without warning. A neighbor, Robert Brammal, died of a massive heart attack last week. Please pray for his family; his funeral was August 3, 2009.

But most of the analogies the Bible uses to describe death imply a gradual progression. It compares our life to a vapor that fades and to flowers or leaves that wither. You can see the change, and anticipate the day the blossom falls to the ground. The Psalmist did not say, “And when I am struck by the lightening bolt of death…” He spoke of a “WALK through the Valley of Death”.

So as I visit and pray for these dear ones, I wonder, what miracle is God going to provide? Is he going to restore them, and let them spend a few more months or years here on earth in a mortal body that has limited health at best? Or is he going bring them home and give them the immortal body that will never experience pain or death again? God is the one who knows the answer to that question.

For those who are plodding through the Valley of Death 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 is especially relavant: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I have a new appreciation for the song by Kathy Troccoli
‘My life is in your hands.”

Pure Joy Update May 4, 2009

There is reason for joy in the Holloway household!

We have another grandson!

Trail David Holloway was born March 27, 2009. He weighed 8 pounds 10 ounces. David and Brittney and Brooklynn are not the only ones who are proud of the new addition. Trail is a delight to all of us.

This year is flying by—It is hard for me to believe that Trail is already one month old.

And it is hard to believe that four months have past since the last Pure Joy update. At that time I was preparing for my reconstruction surgery on December 30. That surgery went well and I am grateful to be done with that. I am so grateful for your prayers. And to tell the truth: I still need them.

Before I had cancer my body felt strong like a Cadillac. Most of the time I had a reserve of get up and go and a very comfortable ride. But the cancer detour forced that “car” off the interstate highway where I had enjoyed smooth sailing to a very bumpy road. Just about the time I recovered from one bump, another would hit. After the biopsy, I had a MRI, six chemo therapy treatments, and 30 radiation treatments, and four trips to the operating table for six surgeries in just 1 ½ years.

So I am delighted to report that I have not had any major bumps since that last surgery. I long to put the cancer detour behind me and start sailing down life’s interstate where the road is smooth. I’m moving at a pretty good clip. I'm enjoying my family-especially the grandchildren. I'm working full time, attending church, teaching children on Wednesday nights and helping with a Bible club Friday evenings.

But it takes a lot more effort to get where I’m going, and the ride is not as comfortable. Even though the road I’m traveling right now is pretty smooth, it seems that I've traded my high powered Cadillac for a sputtering Ford Escort.

Some of the lingering aches and pains are directly related to the surgeries—my right arm aches because lymphnodes were removed. I have not developed a bad case of lymphedema, but there have been times when I have noted some swelling. I have had two manual lymphatic drainage treatments recently, which did help.

There are other aches and pains that may or may not be related to the cancer or its treatments. Lots of people have arthritic pain without having cancer. But Femara (the anti-estrogen drug I am supposed to take for five years) is known to cause osteoporosis and achy joints. So I recently stopped taking Femara and started taking Tomoxifen in hopes that my body will tolerate it better. Time will tell.

Evidently, my resistance to infection is not as good as it used to be either. The last cold I had hung on over six weeks and required two rounds of antibiotics, and I have another bad cold again—which, as bad as I hate to admit it--may mean I am trying to do too much. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. So please pray for healing for this cold, and pray that I will have wisdom to know how to pace myself.

I grew up singing a chorus based on Isaiah 40:31 "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and now be weary, They shall walk and not faint." The last line of the chorus added this refrain: "Teach me Lord, Teach me Lord, to wait."

Two Surgeries Scheduled

----- Original Message -----
From: Fink Holloway
Subject: Two Surgeries scheduled for today, December 30th

Our son David is having surgery on his shoulder today and we would appreciate your prayer for a speedy recovery for him, and it looks like I will have the reconstruction surgery today too, December 30 at 1:00.

I have been to the doctor or a lab five times since the surgery was delayed on December 10. If my day goes as planned, I'll have my surgery at 1:00 and be home to sleep in my own bed--or maybe on the recliner tonight.

One of the verses I read this morning was Jeremiah 10:23, "The way of a man is not in himself; it is not in man (even a strong man or in man at his best) to direct his (own) steps."

We buy planners and calendars this time of the year and we try to plan what each day will hold, but the truth is we really do not know what the day will bring. I'm okay with that, because I trust the One who knows it all. A few days ago I was talking to a man who is currently undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer. He and his wife said they were trying to have faith. (I presumed that they meant trying to believe that he will be healed.)

I told them that when I was in the middle of my treatments I often sang a song based on a statement of Paul, "For me to live is Christ. To die is gain." The song says: "If I live, well, praise the Lord! If I die, well, Praise the Lord! If I live or die my only cry will be--Jesus in me. Praise the Lord!" I felt peace trusting God to work out the details of my life. I know the Bible has a lot to say about the miracle of healing--and the very fact that I am up and working full time and able to write this day is a testimony of incredible healing that has occurred in my body.

But the Bible also has a lot to say about death. Believers are supposed to die too. Most word pictures that the Bible uses to describe death point to a gradual change of the body. Flowers fade, grass withers, vapor vanishes. The Bible does not use a lightening bolt to describe death--although some people do die in an instant. We can see changes in the flower before it drops to the ground. And you can see the changes in the body of most people who approach death. The Bible tells us to expect that. So if my time to die comes in a predictable way that is not going to rock my faith at all. The focus of my faith has nothing to do with my body. I have faith in God. I believe God's Word is true. When I feel great--God's Word is true. When I draw my last breath--God's Word will be just as true then, and I look forward to the day when I see Jesus face to face. But while I'm here, I can trust him to work out all the details of my life. Delays, detours, celebrations, crisis--God is with me in everything.

I can say I certainly enjoyed the benefits of the delay--I picked up my grandchildren and walked and bounced them and carried them to my heart's delight with no lifting restrictions.

Thank you for all your prayers. I think David has a more difficult surgery than I do so remember him especially.

Love,
Fink

Surgery Delayed

----- Original Message -----
From: Fink Holloway
Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Subject: Surgery Delayed

“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” Proverbs 27:1

I thought of that verse this morning as I listened to the news while we were in the waiting room of the surgery center. A military plane crashed and four people were killed who were in their own home minding their own business.

I commented to Jerry—“You never know what a day is going to bring.”

Well, before my day was done it had an unexpected twist too.

I expected to have my surgery today at 7:30, and was well on the way to the operating table. I had not had anything to eat or drink since mid-night—not even a glass of water. We arrived at the surgery center before 6:00 a.m. I put on my hospital gown and hat, had the EKG, the IV had been inserted, I signed the papers, talked to the anesthesiologist, etc. I expected to be wheeled into to operating room in about 15 minutes when I was told one of the labs from my blood came back with number that could indicate a risk. So nurse took some more blood and sent it to the hospital to run the test again, and got the same results. So I was sent home and the test will be repeated on Friday morning.

I am not sure why I had this delay, but I do know the good Lord knows what he is doing and I can rest in that.

Thank you for your prayers. They are always needed.

Reconstruction surgery scheduled 12/10/2008

----- Original Message -----
From: Fink Holloway
Sent: Monday, December 08, 2008
Subject: Please pray about the next surgery

This morning I had an appointment at North Hills Surgery Center for pre-op work, and another appointment with my plastic surgeon, Dr. Atwood. The surgery for the next part of the reconstruction will be this Wednesday, December 10th at 7:30 a.m.

This operation will "remove the tissue expander in my right breast, create a breast pocked and place a permanent reconstructive breast prosthesis." I also plan to have the port that was used for chemotherapy removed from the left side. The port has been there since September 12, 2007, and I'm very grateful that my doctors do not feel that it is needed any longer.

This will be a one day surgery, and if all goes well, I expect to be back at work Monday, December 15. Please pray that I will not have any infections or complications.

I am so grateful for all of you who have been praying for my health all along. It is working. Several co-workers and relatives, including my husband, have been quite sick with colds, bronchitis, etc. I have not been sick, and it looks very much like the surgery will go forward as scheduled. I thank the Lord for that. The tissue expander is quite uncomfortable and I've heard the real implant will be better. I sure hope it is.

Initially, there will be discomfort--of course. I am supposed to sleep on my back for several days, and for two weeks wear a bra at all times--even in bed. The tissue expander has been a pain and eventually I expect to be able to sleep better when it is removed. Sometimes the pain radiates down my right arm and I hope that will get better too. You can also pray that I won't have a capsular contracture--that would make the implant hard and uncomfortable (like the tissue expander). Since I had radiation, I am at risk for that complication and for lymphedema. A few days after surgery Dr. Atwood plans to show me some things I can do to help prevent contractures, but when it comes right down to it, I know the good Lord will need to provide the healing touch. Doctors can cut and sew, and do marvelous things, but ultimately I look to the Lord for my healing.

Thank you so very much for your prayers and your friendship.

Reconstruction Surgery Scheduled

From: Fink Holloway

Some of you who have read all my updates will remember that I struggled over the decision of whether to have reconstruction or not. I was so tired of pain and doctors visits, I wondered: Why would anyone choose to have additional pain and surgeries?

Right now is a good time to remind myself of the reason:
Because the pain is temporary and the outcome is permanent.

Every time I go back to Dr. Atwood's office and get more saline fluid added to my tissue expander I am more uncomfortable. Lately, the right adjective is not "uncomfortable" . At this point I have some pretty serious pain for the first few days after having fluid added. Sleep is difficult. And just about the time the tissues have stretched enough that I can almost function normally, it is time to go back for another fill. Ouch!!!

This challenge has given me more empathy for people who live with pain, as well as more respect for my daughter and others who have oral surgery or wear braces. They know what it is to go into the office feeling okay and walk out hurting. Eventually, the braces come off and leave a beautiful smile, but the process of moving the teeth is quite painful.

Hopefully, I had my last fill October 15, and the surgery is scheduled for December 10. My skin is red and it is really tight. I'll be glad when the tissue expander is removed and I get the implant which is supposed to feel more natural.

There are many situations where there is "pain" before "gain". John 16:21 speaks of it this way:
"A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world."

Speaking of a child being born:
Jerry and I have a new granddaughter!! Joseph and Janelle have a new daughter: Aliyah Elisabeth Holloway was born September 18 in Seneca, South Carolina. We are going to see her at Thanksgiving.

David and Brittney are expecting a new baby in March!!

Thank you for your prayers.

No News is Good News

----- Original Message -----
From: Fink Holloway
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2008

You’ve probably heard the saying: “No news is good news.” That has been true for me. I haven’t written lately because I have been very busy. It has been hard to find time to write because I have been on the go nearly all the time.

I have returned to work full time. From September to February, I only worked half time. There were many days I did not make it in at all due to chemo or the secondary infections it caused. I was out for six weeks following the mastectomy. When I finally began to recover from that surgery I had six weeks of radiation. I worked a maximum of 30 hours a week while on radiation. So I had not worked full-time since September 2007.

In the middle of June when I started working full-time, there was a ton of work waiting for me at the Schmieding Center for Senior Health and Education. We are expanding our outreach, so that makes more work. And I am not the only person who has been out. It is vacation time, and several others have been out of the office due to illness or personal crisis too. So my days at the office are very full. I don’t mind the longer days—it feels good to be back, and it feels good to attempt to cover for others. For nine months my co-workers helped carry my load. I am grateful to be strong enough to work full-time and grateful for opportunity to help others.

Our kids who live in South Carolina, Joseph & Janelle & Josiah Holloway, spent several days with us in June. We got to celebrate Josiah’s first birthday. And we also went with Janelle to “What’s Kickin’”--a business that does sonograms. We got to watch the new baby on a big screen, listen to its heart beat, and we learned that their next child will be a girl! She is due October 2nd.

David and Brittney purchased a new home in Farmington and sometimes we have been involved with helping them paint. Sometimes I just play with Brooklynn while they work, and that is fun for both of us.

I got a good report when I went for my follow up appointment one month after my last radiation treatment. Dr. Ross (the radiation oncologist) said I did not need to come back for a year. I have met with my plastic surgeon, and the next part of reconstruction will not be until late summer or perhaps in the fall. Radiation causes the muscle tissue to shrink and he wants to give my body time to heal before the next step.

I want to thank all of you who have been so faithful to pray for me. My hip still has some issues and the nerves in my arm that were cut to remove the lymph nodes can be a pain, but I really do feel blessed. I am beginning to feel strong again. I cannot do the same exercise routine that I used to do, but I can tell I am gaining strength each week. The physical therapist recommended that I not use walking for my exercise until the bursitis in my hip clears up so we purchased a recumbent bicycle, and I enjoy riding it.

While it is a huge blessing to feel physically strong, but the most important strength comes from the Lord--not from exercise. Physical strength comes and goes. Right after surgery I was not supposed to lift anything that weighed more than two pounds with either hand. But the strength that comes from the Lord is constant.

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength in whom I trust." Psalm 18:3

“Behold, God is my salvation,
I will trust and not be afraid;
For Yah, the Lord is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.
Therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.”
Isaiah 12:2-3