2008 Family Photos

2/11/2008

Granny Fink and Brooklynn Holloway (David & Brittney's daughter)

2/17/2008
Fink & Jerry Holloway & Grandchildren
Fink is holding Josiah (Joseph & Janelle)
Jerry is holding Brooklynn (David & Brittney)

2/17/2008
Great Grandma Finkenbinder (Fink's mother) with
Brooklynn and Josiah

The above photos were shared on Fink's daughter-in-law's blog:
The Holloway Family
David, Brittney, and Brooklynn
http://davidbrittneyholloway.blogspot.com/

They were precious and I wanted to store them in the history of Fink's blog also.

Roxie Carlton
(friend, blog assistant)

Surgery Results

From: Fink Holloway
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2008 5:53 PM
Subject: Pure Joy Update February 25, 2008

I am SO grateful for all the prayers, calls, cards, gifts, visitors, flowers, books and meals that have come my way since I had surgery. Your expressions of concern help more than you know.

I had the mastectomy and stage I of reconstruction on February 12th. Both surgeries went very well and I was able to go home February 13. My mother and my sister were here from Colorado and their help was a tremendous blessing. They stayed 10 days, and their emotional and physical support was huge.

My pathology report contained great news and good news. The great news was that the surgery did remove all the cancer that was left in my breast after chemo and there were clear margins. The good news is that 13 of 16 lymph nodes did not have cancer. It would be BAD news if MOST of the lymph nodes had cancer. Only three lymph nodes showed any sign of cancer. It would have been great news if none of the lymph nodes contained cancer. Three positive nodes reveal that the cancer had spread outside the breast. I don’t know what the doctor will recommend. It is likely that radiation or tomoxifen will also be added to my care plan. I don’t see either of my surgeons until the drain tubes are ready to be removed, and that may take a few days.

I still have two drains. Blake drains connect to a soft plastic collection bulb. I empty and measure the fluid they collect three times a day. The drains are designed to reduce swelling and discomfort. The first day Drain 1 collected 120 cc of fluid and Drain 2 had 110. Yesterday my totals were 23 & 54. So it won’t be too long until they can both be removed. In one way I am anxious to get the drains out. I cannot take a shower until they are removed. But even with the drains, I’ve suffered quite a bit from the build up of fluids that did not find its way to the drain easily. I sure don’t want to remove the drains too soon.

As I close I want to say thanks again for your support. Even though this cancer journey may just about be over—it may be that recovery and reconstruction are all that remain--I have days when it is very frustrating. My life is still interrupted. This spring I am missing weddings—one in Colorado and one in Illinois. And I am missing a funeral (Aunt Ethel died yesterday, February 24 and her funeral will be in Denver this Friday). I am not supposed to lift over two pounds, so a suitcase is out of the question! And even when I get the strength to go, I cannot go. I do not have any vacation time at my job. I have missed so many days at work. Life moves on whether I am there or not.

One day, when I wept because I felt cheated out of an opportunity; frustrated by the losses that this cancer continues to cause, I received a funny card. On the outside it said: “Jesus loves you, this I know. I ask the Lord to heal your toe, your head, your kidneys and your spleen, and all the places in between.” Inside it said: “Get well soon, or I’ll make up another silly song.” Even though the incident that prompted the tears was very fresh, I had to laugh out loud. Your e-mails, cards, and calls really do help. Thanks!

I appreciate each one of you!

Fink

Post surgery update

From: Lisa Ware
Date: 02/20/2008

Spoke with her (Fink) this morning ... it's been 8 days since surgery. She is waiting for the pathology report, to determine if further treatment will be prescribed. She is in pain from the edema, so is taking meds for moderate-severe pain. Fink is waiting for the fluid accumulation to subside, so that drainage tubes can be removed. The doctor has recommended that she be as "quiet" as possible, to encourage healing.

Fink's mom and sister will leave this Saturday. Please pray for her continued healing, and that provision will be made for her and Jerry, as she won't be well enough to cook, clean, etc. She'll be alone during the days, until she's well enough to return to work.

What a precious woman of God she is! It warms my heart just to hear her voice. She is trusting God, but needs continued encouragement to be strong and courageous.

I know she'd love to receive a card, since she can read them at her convenience.

Fink Holloway
22692 Hwy. 295
Wesley, AR 72773

Blessings---
Lisa Ware

Mental & Emotional Battles

----- Original Message -----
From: Fink Holloway
Sent: Friday, February 08, 2008 10:02 AM
Subject: Pure Joy Update 2-8-08

In my last update I mentioned the mental and emotional battles that I had been facing. In the Bible we are told that David encouraged himself, and he calmed himself. Here are the verses that tell what David did:

I Samuel 30: 6 (KJV)
And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.

Psalm 131:2 (KJV)
Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul [is] even as a weaned child.

To “quiet myself” I meditate on scriptures and sing hymns and songs. These are the ones that were especially meaningful to me recently.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Obviously, the promise “God has not given me a spirit of fear” is comforting. But the last words: “He has given me a sound mind” is also important. Dozens of books and articles that I have read mention the phrase “chemo brain.” Last week I made several absent minded mistakes. I won’t bore you with details, but enough happened that I began to pray and asked others to pray that the Lord would help me to concentrate and do my work well. This week has been better.

Two other songs that especially ministered to me were “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow” and “I Know Whom I Have Believed” If you know the melody, I encourage you to take a few moments and sing them with me.

"I Know Who Holds Tomorrow"
By Ira Stanfill

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o’er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I’ll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Chorus:
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb;
Every burden s getting lighter,
Every cloud is silver-lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye;
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Chorus:
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow;
It may bring me poverty.
But the one who feeds the sparrow,
Is the one who stands by me.
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me
And I m covered with His blood.

Chorus:
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.



"I Know Whom I have Believed"
By Daniel Whittle

I know not why God's wondrous grace
to me he hath made known,
nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
redeemed me for his own.
Refrain:
But I know whom I have believed,
and am persuaded that he is able
to keep that which I've committed
unto him against that day.

2. I know not how this saving faith
to me he did impart,
nor how believing in his word
wrought peace within my heart.
(Refrain)

3. I know not how the Spirit moves,
convincing us of sin,
revealing Jesus through the word,
creating faith in him.
(Refrain)

4. I know not when my Lord may come,
at night or noonday fair,
nor if I walk the vale with him,
or meet him in the air.
(Refrain)

Pre-surgery decisions and schedule

----- Original Message -----
From: Fink Holloway
Sent: Wednesday, February 06, 2008 9:30 AM
Subject: Pure Joy Update 2-6-08

Dear Friends,

I appreciate your prayers so very much!

It has nearly been six weeks since my last chemo, and I am getting stronger. The lab showed that my white blood cell counts and red blood cell counts are within the normal range. (They have not reached the level that they were prior to chemo, but it is good enough to go forward wtih surgery.) The thrush took forever to go away this last time, and so I am continuing to take fluconazole until my surgery. We don't want to give it a chance to come back.

I have an appointment today (February 6, 2008) with Dr. Cross, the surgeon who will be doing the mastectomy.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Linda Treitler who is a massage therapist at Highland Oncology Group to learn some exersizes and techniques to prevent lymphydema (a complication that often follows a mastectomy).

Monday, February 11, I meet with Dr. Atwood who is the plastic surgeor who will be doing the reconstruction.

Tuesday, February 12th, I go to Washington Regional Hospital at 9:30 and expect to have the surgeries at 12:30. Dr. Cross will be doing the skin sparing mastectomy, and then Dr. Atwood will follow with the stage ! of reconctruction, which for me will be a tissue expander.

While comtemplating all the visits and the surgeries I have felt like weeping at times this week. I have enjoyed feeling better and the thought of more pain and bedrest and isolation does not feel welcome. This week I have struggled again feeling unsure of the best choice for me for the decisions that I have to make.

Since I've had breast cancer there have been some decisions that were relatively easy because the doctor recommended one option very strongly. For instance: chemo or no chemo. The doctor strongly recommended chemo--I had one lymph node involved. So choosing to undergo chemotherapy seemed right. Mastectomy or lumpectomy. The surgeon said: "The breast has got to go." With three tumors that also seemed like a no-brainer.

But when I got to questions like:
Bilateral mastectomy or single mastectomy?
Reconstruction or no reconstruction?
What type of reconstruction?

The physicians did not give a clear mandate. They say things like: "It is a personal decision. It is up to you. Do what is right for you."

How can I KNOW what is right for me? If I knew I would get cancer in the second breast then it would be an easy decision. But there is not that great of a risk of cancer coming to the second breast. Literature says the chance of a person with breast cancer getting another breast cancer is 10% in 10 years. Those odds are not real high, but I sure don't want to get another breast cancer.

I know I would like to have a body that looks normal, but it is really hard for someone like me who is anxious to get back to feeling better as fast as possible to choose an option that increases the season of surgeries, doctor visits, and possible complications. I have gone back and forth on the question of reconstruction dozens of times.

So there have been some tough mental battles this week. When I don't know what to do, I cry. When one of my friends told me that she had slept well, I told her I had wept well. (I don't know how or why crying helps. I guess it relieves the tension even if it does not make things immediately clear.)

If you remember what you read at the top of this update, you know I have decided to stick with the plan that was established a few weeks ago: Only remove one breast, and start reconstruction immediately.

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers. Breast cancer is more than a physical battle. It brings mental and emotional challenges that are really hard too.

I'll send the lyrics of a couple songs that have been espcially meaningful in another update. I've got to hurry up or I will be late for my appointment this morning!

Love,
Fink