Christmas Letter 2007

The Jerry Holloway Family 2007

David, Brittney, Sharon, Janelle, Joseph
Fink & Jerry holding Brooklynn & Josiah

December 2007

Dear Family and Friends,

At Christmas I join dozens of other who send a letter with family update. Some years the news is rather ho, hum. No big changes to report. 2006 was different: My Mom had a heart attack; we were remodeling, selling a home, and moving. When you add the challenges from Sharon’s bicycle accident, 2006 felt like a hard year and I hoped that 2007 would be easier. It started out good.

In January, David and Brittney took the brooch David designed that won first place in Arkansas to a national competition in New York City. We were delighted when he took the top honors there as well. His piece has been featured in several jewelers’ magazines and on the local news and his business is off to a wonderful start.

In March my brother and sister and I met in Colorado to celebrate Mom’s 90th birthday. My mother has done very well in spite of the heart attack and other health problems. She is back in the swimming pool exercising, attending Bible studies, cutting quilt blocks at the senior center, and praying for all of us daily. What a blessing and encouragement she is! Besides enjoying cake and ice cream and presents with dear friends, Marilyn and Steve and I all took a turn publicly thanking Mom for the ways she has impacted our lives. We surprised her at one of the Interchurch Fellowship of the Blind meetings. (The ICFB is a Christian support group for the blind that my dad founded. So it was also a tribute to him as well). We sang together and that memory will be one we cherish forever. Mom also flew to Michigan in September to attend the National Church Conference of the Blind and to visit her relatives there, and in November she flew to Minneapolis to spend a week with my brother for Thanksgiving. We are inspired and motivated by her life and courage.

June brought wonderful news: Our grandson was born! Joseph and Janelle named their first child Josiah Ethan. We were privileged to spend some time with him and with his parents during his first week. Joe and Janelle still work as campus pastors at Clemson in South Carolina. Their efforts are touching hundreds of students and have spread beyond the Clemson campus. We are so grateful for their ministry.

December 1 Sharon completed her music degree from the U of A when she gave her Senior Recital at the piano. For any music major the Senior Recital is a big deal, but it was especially significant knowing that a year ago she could not play the piano at all with two broken arms. We are so grateful to God for her recovery and for her life. Over 120 relatives and friends came from eight states to attend her recital, and their presence delighted all of us.

With all those blessings you would think that reflecting on 2007 would bring nothing but joy.

But 2007 brought some challenges as well.

In April we were shocked when our granddaughter’s pediatrician suggested that she needed glasses. Brooklynn was just 18 months old at the time! We learned that she is very far sighted and both of her eyes are crossing.


Brooklynn has adjusted to wearing glasses wonderfully and she is as cute as ever. She started with regular glasses, and then switched to bifocals. Later the doctor remommended eye patches, ointments, and that did not correct the problem of her eyes crossing either.

She had surgery on both eyes December 13.

Please pray for her to have a full recovery.

Jerry’s dad began having health problems in October. He made two trips to the emergency room and one time he spent 12 consecutive days in the hospital. He is getting stronger, but he continues to need prayer.

On August 21 I was stunned when I heard the words: “It looks like cancer.” I’d had a lump that was not cancerous before and I certainly did not expect the lump I found this year change my life so drastically. But, when tests revealed three malignant tumors, my life changed. For one thing my calendar has bunches of medical entries:

Aug 22 9:00 Biopsy
Aug 23 Call Confirms Cancer

Aug 30 9:00 MRI

Aug 30 11:00 Meet Surgeon Dr. Cross
Aug 31 9:00 Breast Center for Dye

Aug 31 12:15 Sentinel Node Surgery

Sept 7 8:00 Dr. Romaine
Sept 11 10:00 Blood Work before Surgery
Sept 12 10:30 Port Surgery
Sept 14 10:00 First Chemo

I am scheduled for six rounds of chemo. The last one is supposed to be December 28th and a mastectomy will be scheduled next year. My appointment book is not the only thing that took on a new look. I look different: I’m bald. And my outlook has been affected too. You can read more about this journey: finkholloway.blogspot.com. All of this serves as a reminder that each day is a treasure; each person is a treasure who should not be taken for grant it. The opportunities we have to do the things that matter the most should not wasted.

So I want to take this opportunity to say: I love you! I thank God for the ways that you have touched my life. I pray that you will be blessed this Christmas and throughout the New Year.

I am extremely grateful for Jerry and the rest of my family and dear friends who have surrounded me with their love and support.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

You make it easier for me to face this journey with pure joy. I was memorizing James 1:2 and had that card in my pocket on the day I went for my mammogram: “Consider it PURE JOY when ever you face different kinds of trials.” Since I have been healthy my entire life this is a different kind of trial, but your prayers and support have bought me joy. I know God is still in control. He is my healer and He will provide everything I need for each step of the way. His presence is the best Christmas present that helps us in our hard times.

Merry Christmas from the Holloways!

Chemo # 5 December 7

Tomorrow I go for my 5th chemo treatment, so keep me in your prayers. It is easy to get stuck in a dread this ordeal mindset. So pray that I will remember to take my focus off the negative things I endure and that I will be sensitive to the Lord. There are dozens of people in the chemo room who have needs. Obviously, the patients all have physical needs, but I have also met some nurses who were in need of a prayer or a word of encouragement. I have had special prayer times and even sang to some of the staff in the past. I'd like to give out some Gideon's Nurses New Testaments tomorrow if I get the chance.

The room where the chemo is administered reminds me of a small gym. No, the floor is not painted like a basketball court, but it is a large open area and the floor looks like a hard wood floor. I think it is a laminate wood floor that can be easily cleaned. There are recliners and IV poles against the wall on two sides of the room and a large nurses station in the middle. The third side of the room leads to private rooms with beds for the patients who are too ill to sit in a recliner, or who prefer privacy. The fourth side of the room has a counter with another nurses station, the entrance, a restroom, and a counter with refreshments. There are juices, sodas, and crackers with cheese or peanut butter available for those on chemo. It takes 3-4 hours for my chemo to drip into my veins and that seems to be average. The nurses do not want us to leave hungry. Fortunately, I have always had a friend or relative with me during my chemo who has brought real food for me to eat during my treatment. The nausea does not usually hit me in the first few hours so I have been able to eat lunch while I am at chemo. Some of the time I try to pass the time with a project of some type. I've tried to remember how to knit, but that has not worked out too good. The anti-nausea medications added to the IV tend to cloud your brain. Some knitters might be able to work without thinking but I am not one of them.

As I sit in the recliner there usually is a patient on my left and on my right who are also getting medications by IV. Some people get iron for severe anemia, but most of the people there are also getting some type of chemo for cancer. Since we sit beside each other for several hours, there is a chance for some conversation. So pray that I will not only listen to them as they speak, but I will also listen to the Holy Spirit to know how to respond and know how to be a blessing to them.

Pure Joy Update Written 11-27-07

When I thought about what to write in this update I considered the phrase: I’m finished with four rounds of chemo. In a way that is true, but in a way it is not. I am no longer hooked up to the IV pole. It takes about four hours for me to receive the chemicals: Taxotere, Cytoxan & Adriamycin. 24 hours later I go back for an injection of Neulasta, which helps prevent infections by treating neutropenia (low white blood cell count) caused by the chemotherapy. But it takes 2-3 weeks before I feel normal. Every three weeks I go back for another round of chemo, so really there are only a few days that I feel strong again.

For me chemotherapy is similar to repelling down a cliff. When I’m at the top of the cliff I have a decent amount of energy. (It is never as good as it was before started this cancer treatment.) The descent is not like an airplane in a nose dive that crashes. I don’t walk away from a chemo session immediately feeling horrible, but I can feel my strength and appetite sinking for a couple days. By day three I lay pretty low. My energy is missing; my heartbeat jumps to 120 just to walk across the room, and the nausea medications create a brain fog and drowsiness. One time I tried to go somewhere on day three and the drive made the nausea much worse. Another time I moved quickly to answer the phone, and that caused vomiting. (Fortunately, I had a trash can by the desk.) On day three, it just makes sense to lay down most of the day and move slowly if I get up. On Monday I don’t feel like being in bed all day and I start the climb back to the top. It takes a good two weeks before my energy gets back to where it was before I had before I had my last chemo. The secondary infections that I have had make the climb harder. I have thrush again, so I’m using an awful tasting mouthwash and taking Fluconzaole one time a day for two weeks. So the phrase “I’m finished with four” isn’t quite accurate.

But I can say I’m far enough away from the fourth treatment to start feeling better.

And I am energized by some wonderful news:

Sharon will be giving her senior recital this Saturday, December 1, 2007.

A whole bunch of our relatives and friends are coming for it. I am especially delighted that my sister and her son Bob, and my brother and two of his daughters, and Joseph and Janelle and Josiah are coming!

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

I have felt more energy this time than any other time, and I know it is a reflection of the excitement I feel in my heart. Sharon has worked so hard for years and we are extremely proud of her. Many of you know that she broke both arms last year and could not play the piano for several months. It thrills my heart big time to know that her arms have healed so well that she can play the piano several hours a day. We thank the Lord for her recovery and for her life. She is not just a great pianist. She is a great person who loves the Lord and loves other people. Her life is a beautiful song.

Her senior recital program includes these works:

J. S. Bach English Suite No. 4 in F Major

L. van Beethoven Sonata No. 16 in G Major, Op. 31, No. 1

Franz Liszt Benediction of God in Solitude from his Poetic and Religious Pieces

Dmitri Shostakovich Prelude and Fugue in D minor, Op. 87, No. 24

John Field Nocturne No. 14 in G major

Samuel Barber Nocturne Op. 33 (Homage to John Field)

Please continue to pray for me and pray for Sharon. We both want to be healthy and be able to enjoy her recital and all the guests this weekend.

Third Chemo Treatment

I had my third chemo on treatment October 26; the first week after chemo was rather difficult with secondary infections as well as the expected nausea and fatigue. So I am three for three as far as needing antibiotics to fight uninvited infections after chemo. Normally, I like to be around people who are consistent. But I will be very grateful if the next times I miss that part.

I had thrush this time which is a fungal infection. It was similar to the thrush babies get sometimes, but thrush can be very serious for a person on chemo because the immune system is so compromised. Fortunately, I contacted the nurse the first day I noted that my tongue was covered in a white substance and the infection started subsiding before the painful sores on my tongue and esophagus developed. Some people have sores so bad they can hardly stand to eat or drink anything with thrush, but I did not miss a meal and I am grateful for that.

I have written another poem that I'll share with you. It is called "I Praise You" and is a prayer of thanksgiving. Many of you should recognize yourself the third stanza as the ones who prayed, or sent a card, etc. I do thank God for each one of you. Your support helps more than you know.

I Praise You
By: Fink Holloway
November 2, 2007

Lord, I praise You for the pokes
And I praise You for the pain.
I know there is a purpose
And this process helps me gain

Precious time with my family
And with precious people too
As well as a perspective that makes me new.

So I praise You for the pokes
And I praise You for the pain
I know there is a purpose
And this process helps me gain

More appreciation for Your peace
And Your mighty power too.
The comfort of Your presence
Has calmed me through and through.

I praise You for the people
That provide support along the way.
I praise You for the words, the gifts, and cards
That inspire me every day.

I praise You for all my “family” who make time to pray
And for the ones who help in such practical ways.
I praise You for the people who prepare the food
And for those who accompany me to appointments too.
Their presence is so precious and helps my courage to renew.

I praise you for my husband who is a jewel to keep.
He has been so kind and he holds me when I weep.

I praise You for the people that I have just met
Because of this detour that I take without regret.

I praise You because You know the reason for this path that I take
And I praise You because You are wise and You make no mistakes.

I praise You, Lord, for the numerous ways
You help me preserve with pure joy in these difficult days.
I praise You.

Brooklynn Brings Pure Joy

Our granddaughter dressed as a fairy

"Whys" Before Your Cross

Here's a poem by Ruth Graham, Billy Graham's wife,
that my mom sent me several years ago.

"I lay my 'whys' before your cross
in worship kneeling
My mind too numb for thought
My heart beyond all feeling
And worshipping, realize that I in knowing you
don't need a 'why'."

Jerry & Fink Holloway Family

Jerry & Fink Holloway Family

Back Row: David, Joseph, Jerry

Front Row: Brittney, Sharon, Janelle, Brooklynn on Fink's lap

Chemotherapy Journey

I know some of you have heard about my progress through the chemo journey already, but others who don't see me very often have not had a very recent update. So this will fill you in.

I had quite of few of the expected side effects from chemo. Nausea, etc. I lost most of my hair between the first and second rounds of chemo and that was much harder than I expected.

On the morning of October 4th, before my shower I wrote these scriptures in my journal: "Isaiah 60:1 Arise, shine; For your light has come: And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold the darkness shall cover the earth and deep darkness the people; But the Lord will arise over you (Me) and His glory will be seen upon you (Me)...Then you (I) shall see and become radiant and your (My) heart shall swell with joy." While pondering those verses I wrote: "Lord during this time of balding and chemo, when my human eyes look a t a human body that is less desirable, help me to see as you see--not as a flowed form, but as a willing container (imperfect at its best) that is capable of holding the Light of God, and the glory of the Lord. I want to be radiant with the beauty of Jesus and have heart that swells with joy. I want to know pure joy in the midst of my trials."

But about one hour later after my shower I wrote this: "So much for the joy!!! Right now I am stunned, and somewhere near tears because I took a shower and lost a ton of hair again. This has been going on for several days now. But for some reason this morning it feels different. It's one thing to finish your shower and know my hair looks thinner today. But today, you can see past the remaining hairs to my scalp in so many places! I am not thoroughally bald, but the process of going bald is so significant that volcanoes of emotion are ready to erupt without warning.

"Help me to remember, Lord, that my real joy is NOT predicated on outer appearance. My joy is Jesus joy that swells from a heart that is totally at peace with God. My heart is clean and I need a supernatural dose of Jesus joy to carry me through the day."

And with that prayer I made it through the day without tears, but in the safety of my home I cried again that night. And cried again several other times.

A few days later I wrote about the balding experience again:

October 9, 2007
"Why does it hurt so much to be forced to change our appearance? People dye their hair, or cut it off or put on a wig to get a new and different look every day. Many people do it for fun or to get attention. So why does the bald head must wear a wig routine seem so painful for someone on chemo? 1) I think it is because it is an unwanted change. We were forced to change because of circumstances out of control. 2) It is unexpected. You can tell someone: "You will go bald" all day. But nothing can really prepare you for the sight of yourself with so much scalp shining through. 3) It feels like a robbery. I feel violated: Like something has been taken from me that I valued. .....I know it is a temporary problem. I know it know it has no eternal significance. But that is no consolation to my emotions."

Besides the hair loss, I had a couple secondary infections with fever after my first round of chemo. So I was given an injection of Neulasta (which is supposed to boost my white blood cell count and prevent infections) after my second treatment. The normal range for white blood cells is 3.4-9.8. Mine was 8.9 before I started chemo. But a week after the second chemo my white blood cell count is still quite low 1.1 even with the Neulasta, and I have developed another infection. This time it's not a cold or fever. My port is infected, so I am on my third round of antibiotics. So I invite you to pray about my port problems. I am sure as you read this you can tell I do need your prayers and support, and I appreciate them more than I could ever say.

2nd Chemo Treatment

I have my second round of chemo on Friday, October 5th. I have had several secondary infections since my first round and may have a transfusion of white blood cells after this one to help me fight infection.

I am - You Are

I'd like to share a thought from my journal that contrasts what I am feeling or experiencing some of the time with what Jesus is All of the Time.

Yesterday, I spent most of my birthday alone and resting because I had a low grade fever and cold. On an ordinary day I would just ignore those symptoms and expect to heal on the go. But the chemo had caused my white blood cell counts to drop from 8.7 to 1.7 and I knew my body’s ability to fight infection was greatly compromised. During the day I wept as I realized that what I was experiencing after my first chemo treatment was going to be repeated for several months.

I am — You Are
By Fink Holloway
September 22, 2007

I don’t want to be so medicated.
I don’t want to be so nauseated.
I don’t want to be so constipated.
I don’t want to be so isolated.
I don’t want to feel so frustrated.

But sometimes

I am.

But God, when I consider who you are
Not just who you are today, but every day,
I know I can still trust you.

You are my Savior.
You are my king.
You put a song in my heart
That I still want to sing.

You are the reason I can persevere with pure joy.
You give me a hope that nothing I face in this life could ever destroy.
You are my life jacket.
You are my peace.
You are the reason I can relax and find sweet release.

You know how to heal
You know when I call.
You know how many hairs are still on my head.
You know when they will all fall.

God, when I consider who
YOU ARE
Not just who you are today, but every day
I know I can still trust you.
And I do!

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Fink appreciates your support and prayers while she walks through the cancer experience.

Roxie Carlton

New Port, Chemo Appt

I had a new port implanted yesterday (Wednesday, 9/12/2007). That surgery went well, and I am planning to begin my chemo tomorrow afternoon (Friday, 9/14/2007). I plan to ride with Jerry to Springdale and work at the Schmieding Center in the morning. Then my friend Valerie is going to take me to the Highlands Oncolocy Group at 1:00. Jerry plans to meet us there. The treatment will take about 3 hours, but tomorrow I have to do blood work first and I expect it to take longer this first time.

I will be having a chemo treatment every three weeks for 6 weeks, so that takes me right up to the new year with the chemo. I expect to stay home from work when I feel like I have been hit by a freight train, and work when I feel like I can think clearly enough to contribute. Technically the cancer books don't say I will feel like I've been hit by a train, but some of the feed back from people who have been down that road gives that impression. If it is easier for me I'll be grateful. Whether it is a breeze or quite miserable, I know that I won't be facing it alone. The good Lord and dozens of you friends are travelling with me, and I am comforted by that!

One of the cards my mom sent had these words:
With God behind you and his arms beneath you, you can face whatever lies ahead of you! "Deuteronomy 33:27 Underneath are the everlasting arms."

Thanks for praying!

Gaze at the Lord

I expect to be at Washington Regional Hospital on Tuesday morning for pre-op work (paper work, blood work, e.k.g., etc,). Then on Tuesday afternoon I meet with a genetic counselor to help establish my risk factors. I meet with my oncologist after that to get the details about my first chemo treatment, discuss possible side effects and ask questions.

Wednesday I’ll be back at the hospital at 7:45am to get a port which will be used for the chemo. The MRI & sentinel node IVs caused an acute inflammatory response, so the port is needed before chemo—which should begin on Friday the 14. So keep me in your prayers.

My mother had breast cancer in 1988, and the poem I wrote then is relevant now for me.

Gaze at the Lord
By: Fink Holloway
July 27, 1988

When life isn't giving me its best
And I'm being put right to the test
It's easy to let my thoughts dwell on the trouble
But doing that makes it all seem to double.
So should I bury my head in the sand,
And pretend that all is great at hand?
No, but when facing reality I can't afford
To forget about my Sovereign Lord.
I'll glance at the trouble,
But gaze at the Lord.
I'll remember that He is the One adored.

Then, when life is awesome and great
Should I just enjoy myself and celebrate?
No, in health or success I still can't afford
To forget about my sovereign Lord.
I'll glance at this world,
But gaze at the Lord,
And remember that He is the One adored.

When I look at Him my priorities become right.
Things that won't last don't make me up tight.
If it won't even matter when we get up there
It shouldn't consume me--be a constant care.
Though I glance at this life,
I must gaze at the Lord
And remember that He is the One adored.

Whether you're happy or sad
Whether it's great or it's bad
Just glance at the circumstances.
Gaze at the Lord.
Remember, He is the One adored.

"Gaze at the Lord"
Copyright 1988:
Fink Holloway
22692 Hwy. 295
Wesley, AR 72773
479-456-2949

3 Tumors, Mastectomy Mandatory

I have 3 tumors with inflamatory ductal carcinoma that span 4.9 centimeters, and I have been told that a mastectomy is mandatory. Honestly, I expected to hear that recommendation after researching info on multiple tumors in the breast. My lumps are not "in situ" or cancer that is contained within the milk duct. It is invasive--spreading into the rest of the breast tissue, and I really would have felt uneasy if the doctory had recommended a lumpectomy. I asked if the mastectomy would eliminate the need for chemo, because some people do not require chemo if the cancer is contained in the breast.

To find the answer, I went to the surgery center on Friday and had a sentinal node biopsy to see if the cancer had spread to any lymph nodes. I learned today that it has. Dr. Cross removed 4 nodes and only one was positive for cancer. It is good news for me that most of the lymph nodes did not have cancer. But I am going to go ahead and have the chemo since it has begun to spread to other parts of my body. The chemo will preceed the mastectomy, and will begin as soon as we can get it scheduled. Monday is a holiday, so it will be Tuesday before calls can be made to schedule the
next thing.

Besides cancer I have another problem that I would love for you to pray about:

I had one I.V. for the MRI on Thursday and another I.V. Friday for the sentinel node surgery, and both sites became inflamed. The one from the MRI sent a red streak up my arm, and so I have been laying around with an ice pack in my arm pit for the incision, which is two inches across and 2 1/2 inches deep, and with a heating pad on my lower arm to try to aid in the healing of the phlebitis. The 2 for 2 pattern of problems occurring in my veins from an I.V. is rather disturbing especially when you consider all the "Bee Stings" that are in my future. Personally, I think they should call the needle pokes "flea bites" since I'm getting phlebitis from it. (ha!)

Dr. Cross said when a vein has an acute inflamatory response they can never use that vein for and I.V. again. So I probably am going to have to have a port to start the chemo.

Love you all and thanks again for praying!

Mammogram not normal

The mammogram I had on Tuesday, August 21st, was not normal. It was followed by a biopsy on Wednesday, and on Thursday, I learned that I have breast cancer. It is an Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma; 80% of all breast cancers are that type. I have a MRI this Thursday morning and meet with Dr. Cross later that morning at 11:00 a.m. I have been told he is "the best boob man in NWA"-so I am grateful to have an appointment with him.

Please keep me in your prayers.

I know that many of you have a mom or a friend who is also dealing with this issue. Or you may be facing it yourself, even though breast cancer usually strikes the grandma generation instead of the mommy generation. (I do have two grandchildren now!!)

Feel free to e-mail me so we can support each other. I am adding entries to my prayer journal quite often and would be willing to share my thoughts with others who are in the midst of a similar battle.

Thanks to all of you who will join me in prayer.

Fink Holloway
Schmieding Center for Senior Health and Education
Administrative Assistant

Caregivers Should Take Aim at Goals

Caregivers Should Take Aim At Goals,
Care For Self
This article was published on Monday, January 29, 2007
By Fink Holloway
Special to The Morning News

Website:
http://www.nwaonline.net/articles/2007/02/09/your_family/013007yfschmieding.txt

It is basketball season and we know that the players who excel spend hours shooting at the goal to improve their game. Since your work as a caregiver is so much more important than basketball, you also need to practice. Practice to reach your caregiver goals. Some days your "ball" will fall short of your goal, but keep on trying.

Caregiver Goals

1. Take care of yourself.

Eat healthy foods. Take a nap. Get away. Take time for a walk or trip to the mall for you own pleasure. These trips not only provide physical exercise, but bring fresh air to your spirit.

Too many caregivers do not realize the importance of taking care of themselves. They work without sleep, skip meals, and eliminate all of their former interests to care for someone they love. That isn't good. Some people who tried to be on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week have died trying to provide care for their loved one. Don't kill yourself trying to do more than one person can possibly do.

When my father was terminally ill, there were times when my mother slept in the bedroom next door to my father so that she would not have constant interruptions throughout the night. She knew the child who was working the night shift would call for her if she was needed, and she didn't need to be awakened every time Dad needed a drink. She was exhausted and needed some sleep. It was good for her to take care of herself so that in the morning she had more energy to give to Dad.

2. Get some help.

It is not just "OK" to ask your children or your neighbors to help you with meals or help with the care of your loved one; it is a very wise thing to do.

When someone offers to help, by all means accept it. One way to let them know what they can do is to make a list of the things you are doing. Then when someone offers to help show them the list and let them choose the things they could do. Include things like: buy the groceries, prepare meals, do laundry, clean the house, drive to the doctor's office, pick up prescriptions, and stay with your loved one so you can get out. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness. The wisest and wealthiest businessmen recruit other people to assist them. So don't wait until your loved one qualifies for Hospice to seek Respite care.

Individuals who have a stroke or Alzheimer's disease may need care for several years. Their caregivers need a break too. Many community and church groups have volunteers who give help. If you do not know anyone who can assist you, contact The Schmieding Center for Senior Education. The Schmieding Center has a Resource List with information on volunteer organizations and adult day care centers. The Schmieding Center also has a list of home caregivers who can be hired. Call 479-751-3043 and ask for the Caregiver Directory. It lists names and phone numbers of individuals who are trained to give care in the home. The cost of hiring a trained caregiver to come in the home runs from $8 to $12 per hour.

3. Look for assistive devices.

If the condition that caused you to become a caregiver is new to you, there is a very good chance that you do not know about helpful gadgets and medical equipment that are available. Some of the bigger items such as hospital beds and mechanical lifts can be rented. Many other tools that make life easier can be purchased. Stop by a medical supply store or drug store and ask the clerk if he knows of products that are helpful for someone who has the condition with which you are dealing. There are items that promote safety, save time, and protect the back of the caregiver. Some devices are designed to restore independence to individuals. These make an excellent investment and may be covered by Medicare and/or private insurance. Look in the yellow pages under Medical Equipment and Supplies for a listing of the stores in your area.

4. Smile.

When a person is tired or overwhelmed, it is easy to become grumpy and frown. So practice smiling. Sometime today, look in the eyes of your loved one and give them a warm smile. You will both feel better. Smile at the person you are caring for AND smile at yourself. Whether you look in a literal mirror or just look in your soul, smile at yourself and give yourself some pats on the back. Coaches love it when players smack each other on the back or give high fives. Athletes who are in the prime of their life need to hear: "Good job!" Caregivers need encouragement too. So smile at yourself, and encourage yourself. You will find your job is easier when you smile while you work. Don't forget to smile at the physicians and nurses you meet. That little expression of warmth is bound to be a blessing anywhere you go.

5. Be Gentle.

Many people recognize the letters TLC -- Tender Loving Care. As a caregiver, make every effort to be gentle and kind. The person you care for is more likely to cooperate and be pleasant when you give the care in a way that shows tenderness and respect. If a person feels threatened or abused by rough treatment, he is going to resist, and make your job harder. Yanking the sheets or clothing can actually tear the skin, creating additional pain for your loved one and extra work for you. Your personal satisfaction as a caregiver will be greater when you know you have treated others the way you would like to be treated.

Basketball teams would never have a winning season if each player practiced alone and merely worked to sharpen his skills as an individual. Coaches know the importance of team work, and they work hard building the team spirit. Caregiving is also intended to be a "team sport." Caregivers who try to beat the odds alone could put their loved one at risk. If exhaustion and fatigue set in, performance could decline. So make a conscious effort to be a team player. Seeking advice and support from others who are traveling down the same road is bound to be of great benefit and will help you in reaching your goals.

The Schmieding Center has two support groups for caregivers: Family Centered Caregiving (which meets on the third Monday of each month), and Family Caregivers of Persons with Dementia (which meets the second Tuesday and fourth Wednesday of each month). Contact Carolyn Wheeler at 751-3043 for more information. There are others in your community and family who can play a key role in your caregiving and help give your loved one the very best care possible.

Fink Holloway is an administrative assistant for
The Schmieding Center for Senior Health And Education.

Schmieding CenterFor Senior HealthAnd Education
(800) 866-8991

Springdale
2422 N. Thompson
751-3043

Bella Vista
1801 Forest Hills Blvd.
876-2335

Keeping the "care" in caregiving

Elder Focus
Volume 2, Issue 4
July-September 2005
A publication of Schmieding Center
Website address:
http://www.schmiedingcenter.org/pdf/EF_v2_4.pdf

Through the Eyes of the Caregiver

Caring comes naturally for Fink Holloway; just ask her family, friends, or co-workers. Though caring informally for those around her has been a life-long occupation, serving as a professional caregiver came later. Her first experience as a paid caregiver was providing respite care for an extended family member and she went on to provide respite care for her father until his death. Fink’s next caregiving challenge came in the form of Ella, who became not just her client, but also her friend.

At age 77, Ella had been extremely independent and active, but a car accident left her a quadriplegic. After some initial gains through treatment and physical therapy, her progress plateaued and Ella needed assistance for every activity of daily living. Fink received initial instruction from a registered nurse who served as caregiver for Ella for a year. While Ella’s physical needs were being met, Fink realized that Ella “needed more than a bath, she needed a life.” Beyond just preparing to provide physical care, Fink sought out enriching opportunities to enhance Ella’s quality of life.

When Fink heard of the opportunity to further her training at the Schmieding Center, she made a call and enrolled in the Elder Pal course. She also went on to attend the more advanced Personal Care Assistant and Home Care Assistant courses.

As Ella’s condition and needs changed, Fink found the advanced training very helpful. “The Schmieding nurse educators were knowledgeable, compassionate and helpful. When I came back for Continuing Education classes, they went beyond just instruction, specifically asking about Ella’s condition and offering ideas, information, and support that allowed me to give her even better care.”

Fink was exposed to advanced training and experts who walked and talked her through procedures that she eventually had to put to use in caring for Ella. When she started caring for Ella, some of the skills covered in the advanced Schmieding training weren’t immediately necessary, but as Ella’s condition declined, Fink was grateful that she was prepared to continue to provide care for the increasing needs.

If Ella’s family had not been able to find trained, competent caregivers, they would have been unable to keep her at home. Like most families, they still had jobs and responsibilities of their own. The assistance of a professional caregiver gave them the peace of mind to both care for their mother and have a life of their own.

For Fink Holloway, home caregiving was a calling, not just a profession. “I don’t ever want to be in the business of just caregiving,” said Fink. “With Ella, I saw myself more as a friend than an aide and I think it’s the same for most of the students who are drawn to the Schmieding training.

Caring for others is more about the relationship than the job.” The Schmieding curriculum puts great emphasis on personal dignity and respect. “These aren’t just textbook concepts, they are inherent in the way the skills are approached and carried out.” “At Schmieding there is a saying, ‘Caregivers Care’ that’s the heart of this place. Schmieding cultivates that attitude in the students who are trained here.”